Traveling with a Service Animal is Scary.

Where have I been?

I haven't written anything in a long time. COVID quarantine would have been a good time to blog away, but like many people, I had plenty of time and not nearly enough motivation. Okay, we did build a new house in a country where the workers speak a different language, but that is no excuse. Hey, maybe I should write a blog about that experience. I don't think the architect would like to read it, but I'll have to do some catch-up stories. Tonight I have some mounting motivation that I need to spill onto some virtual paper. 

I'm scared!

Jedaiah

The closer it gets, the more apprehensive I get. Yes, I'm getting ready to travel by myself again. It doesn't seem like a big deal. I've traveled so many times to so many places. I love to travel! But nowadays, I have a health condition that at any moment can make me the center of attention in a very busy airport. I'm a pretty open book, but I am purposely not going to discuss my health condition. Here's why. My health condition is easy to talk about. But many people have embarrassing or complicated health problems. They shouldn't have to talk about them. So out of respect for medical privacy, I will not give you any reasons to believe my service animal is legit other than my word. 

So, think of running into me in a busy airport with my adorable service animal and I look perfectly fine. Think of me as a complete stranger running through the airport with my adorable service dog in his cute little vest. How do you react to that picture? 

I am thankful to have Jedaiah to keep an eye on me when I get distracted with things like checking in my luggage, grabbing a snack, boarding the plane, claiming my bags, etc. The airport can be a crazy place. I can handle it just like anyone else. Well, unless that pesky medical thing gets in the way. Otherwise, and hopefully, you will never see my disability. 

R.I.P. Gracie

So, why am I scared? Well, you would think that I was scared to have a crowd gathering situation in a busy public place, but that isn't the scariest part. I'm scared because I did this once before and it was HORRIBLE! There was not a single day that people were not rude to me and Gracie while we were traveling. Oh, how I miss her. She took her job so seriously.  She was always watching me and always being treated badly by strangers.  I'm scared to travel with my service animal because there are ugly people out there. 

Yes! I'm really scared. Jedaiah is clearly so much sweeter than Gracie was and she was so loveable. I loved her and after she was gone I didn't want another service animal. Someone pointed out that "You don't want your (health condition censor) either, but you've got it. You need a service dog." 

So, I have Jedaiah. A little side note: his name means "God knows". I really didn't want him and it's a long complicated story how he ends up being my guardian, but I love him now and I need him to travel with me. He's not as serious as Gracie and was a little slower to understand his job. But, he has officially passed all of his public access skills tests, knows how to alert me if I need to sit down NOW! He knows how to go for help, but is still perfecting bringing help back. He's as sweet as they come. And God knew I needed him. And that makes me scared. I don't know how he will handle rude people. Of course, I'm doing everything I can think of to shelter him from stranger hostility but I know from my last experience that just won't be possible. There are people, a lot of people, who will be mean to us just because they can't see my health condition. How did it become okay to treat disabled people and highly trained animals with such hostility? 

But then, there's also you and that guy on the plane.

You are that nice person. The ones that make up for all of the ugliness out there. The ones I count on to help me (and others like me) just by being you. 

So, I need to tell you (the nice ones) a few things about my service animal. He's not a pet when he's working. He's like a wheelchair. Wheelchair races are super fun and we have been known to play with our equipment from time to time.  I also play with my service dog a lot of the time. But when he's working he is a tool, not a toy. He knows the difference. I hope you do. But don't make assumptions. Just because someone is playing in their wheelchair does not mean that they don't need it to get around. The same applied to Jedaiah. Just because I play with him does not mean that he is not essential. Service Dogs Need to Play

Being a pet is part of what Jedaiah does. But he's more than a pet. He's a medical alert service dog. If he wasn't, I could take him along when it's convenient, and leave him at home when it's not. With Jedaiah, I have to take him always. Sometimes it is exhausting. There's that extra bag I have to carry all of the time. The one with wipes, bags, spray, food, water, ID cards, and of course cookies and toys. I have to ask clients if they mind having a service animal in the vehicle before I can pick them up by myself. I can never just grab my keys and go. And, service dogs in Mexico is a topic of its own!

I don't want to minimize pets. I think that all pets are emotional support animals. That's after all why most people get a pet, isn't it? But, you don't have to have your pet with you at all times. And, unless you need some emotional support beyond the happy face greeting you at the door when you get home, then it's your personal choice to have a pet. No one makes the personal choice to have a diagnosed medical condition. I could be wrong on that one, but speaking for myself I'll say that it's true. 

Speaking of support, emotional support animals are another thing. Some people need them to live a full and productive life outside of their homes. They are vital and often underappreciated by strangers. ESA's and their health partners were hurt irreparably by people who abused the system. There's no way to go back and fix it.

I'll say two things about the system and the exploitation. 

1. Shame on the airlines for charging so much that people were willing to go to extremes to save some money. The price to take your pet along and have them fit under your seat should never have been so high. With costs up to $200 in each direction AND losing one of your carry-ons, it's no surprise that people lied. People will lie for $1.50! People lie in front of their 5-year-old when they are teaching them to tell the truth to get a lower price at the movie theater. Of course, people lie to save hundreds of dollars. 

2. Shame on the media for telling us all across the country every time someone exploited the system. NEWS FLASH: That's not news! If some lady in Newark tries to claim a peacock as her service animal that is not news on the west coast. That is the manipulation of people's emotions for ratings. When you see stories like that ask yourself, "why are they telling me this?" Because we all know that there was that lady with the peacock. We are all quick to judge her as the perfect example of abusing the system. But did you think that maybe the peacock was her service animal? I'm not saying the airline should allow peacocks to fly as service animals. I'm saying that none of us know what the peacock was or was not trained to do, what the health condition was that could be made better by that bird's presence, and what the policy said at the time. It's possible that she had read the policy, that the bird provided some sort of medical support, and that she had a health condition that was somehow made better by that peacock. It's also possible that she was just manipulating the system. The fact is that people use her as an excuse to be cruel to me. That brings us back around to me being scared. 

The Real Peacock Story

Who's to blame for me being scared? 

Well, it's not me! There are a lot of people who are not to blame. I don't blame the people for trying to save a buck. I love a good bargain. I don't blame people for being angry when others exploit a system that is meant to help people. We all need advocates. I don't blame the many kind people out there that had no part in my trauma the last time I traveled. I especially don't blame the nice man on the plane who spoke up when the woman behind me slid down in her seat and kicked Gracie in the nose while announcing proudly, "I hate dogs." I was speechless, but the hero in the aisle seat said (and loudly) "I hate rude people, but I don't kick them under the seat!" I cried. I held Gracie. The flight attendant told me, "The dog needs to stay on the floor." I cried some more. I cried for most of the flight.

I do, however, blame all the people who think they know more about my health condition than my doctors just by looking at me as I go through an airport. It took my doctors a lot longer to figure it out. I blame all the people who mistreated Gracie. Every one of them. They are the reason I am scared to do this again. I also blame every single person who would rather be cruel than kind. I blame the people who cannot rise above the media manipulation to treat strangers with respect. People who cannot be helpful to people who are already struggling just to keep up. I can't imagine, and I'm sure you can't either, being harsh to a stranger just because they might be manipulating the system. And, I blame the system that gave people permission to be hateful. 

But This Time The Rules have Changed.

The new airline rules went into action in January 2021. (Service Animal Ruling) These new rules actually make it much easier for me. They clearly describe what the airline defines as a service animal and what they expect from me and Jedaiah. Gracie and I didn't know the rules and made a lot of mistakes last time. We got a lot of harsh reprimands. Now, we know the rules and thankfully, my baby boy, Jedaiah, is highly qualified for this new job description. 

The short version of the rules. Two for me, two for Jedaiah:

1. I have to have a diagnosed disability 

2. My disability must be helped by the presence of a specifically trained service animal

3. Jedaiah needs to be specially trained to help ME with MY disability. 

4. Jedaiah needs to behave to a high standard that is clearly outlined in the public access test. Here's a short version Public Access Test in 60 seconds

It is exhausting!

There's a long version but you get the idea. Not everyone who has a dog has a disability. Not everyone with a disability has a dog. Not everyone with a disability and a dog that can help have the high level of training that allows them legally into all public areas. And, even if you can check all of those boxes, not everyone has the patience to live your life with a dog by your side AT ALL TIMES! It can be exhausting!

What can you do?

Being scared of hateful, ugly people will not stop me from traveling. I will try to protect Jedaiah from cruel people. I have strategies for each step of the way. But, your help would be appreciated. When you see us, believe us. If we are faking the whole thing then at least you will have been unjustly kind instead of unjustly cruel. 

But there are tangible things you can do as well. Ignore Jedaiah. Think of him as a wheelchair. Would you pet someone's wheelchair? You might ask, "Wow, that's a cool wheelchair. I've never seen one like that." But you wouldn't ask to pet it or play with it. That's just weird! 

If you are playing with Jedaiah, he might not notice a change in my body chemistry. He's got a tricky job. It requires his attention in the craziest of places. You can help by not distracting him. 

I don't mind questions. I spent most of my life teaching. As a teacher, there were plenty of students that did not have the patience for their classmates' questions. Some of those impatient people now have invisible disabilities and service animals. We are all different. "Do you mind if I ask about your service dog?" is probably okay with me but maybe not with someone else. The best thing you can do is to completely ignore Jedaiah. It makes both his job and my job much easier. 

You can smile and give me a little encouragement. You can be confident that someone else has already been rude and your smile might tip the scales. If you see me juggling my bags, my dog, my coffee, and my boarding pass, you can ask if I'd like you to hold my coffee for a minute. I might say no. Maybe I want to figure out how to juggle. I might say yes and thank you. 

Hey, I've got a crazy idea. Let's treat all strangers like we care about them. Smile, offer encouragement and offer to hold their coffee if they are struggling. It radical I know. And it's far different than what I experienced last time. But that would make me less scared. Then I would only be scared that I might need emergency medical attention at gate C10. Even that wouldn't be scary if the people out there in the big bad world were kind to each other.